6 ways to Open the Heart

I was reading one of the many books written by Lama Surya Das and at one point he very casually says that it is important to love first and see second. I turned the page and had almost lost the beauty in those words when something brought me back.

Love first and see second. Transitioning from the head to the heart. Allowing ourselves to take that journey. Accepting it. Preparing for it. Gathering courage. Letting go of fears, beliefs, judgements. Becoming permeable. Finding freedom.

Many of us have spent most of this year in varying degrees of solitary confinement. If there is anyone who has been watching us from the outside, perhaps their wish for humanity in a post pandemic world will be a collective awakening. Finally rubbing our eyes and waking up to the fact that it indeed takes a village for us to feel truly human. And with this, coming to realise that we need to love each other a lot, lot more.

These past few months have been collectively challenging like never before. Challenges should toughen us but not harden us. And there is a difference. Now, more than ever, no matter how small our wins and big our losses have been, we need to believe that in the long run, we can only win if we are winning together.

In Buddhism, we often use the terms inter-being, inter-connectedness, inter-dependence. But to truly appreciate the essence of these words, we need to open our hearts and quieten our minds. Opening the heart allows love to flow into and through us. It helps us soften our rough edges. Makes us happier. Takes away our judgements of others which means takes away our bitterness. And allows us to truly, unconditionally love ourselves. Unconditional love is love without fear. And we can only love another when we love ourselves. When we allow ourselves to give love to someone else, love as it is meant to be, we are the ones who benefit the most. The key then is to open our hearts and let the magic take over.

Ways to open the heart

1. Spending time with children: Little ones realign us to the miracle of life. Their innocence and sense of wonder help us get back in touch with those parts of us that we have lost. If we don’t have any of our own, even some borrowed time with kids can really open us to the beauty of unconditional love.
   

2. Spending time with pets: They couldn’t have made it easier to love. Pets, whether our own or others’, can show us just how much love exists in the world. Pets not only help us give love, they also make us more accepting of receiving love.
   

3. Meditating with nature: It could be any form of nature that we feel most connected to - a waterfall, a flower in our garden, sounds of birds, rustling leaves, a loved one. Essentially, moving from focusing on the self to focusing on the feeling of oneness with another and being together.
   

4. Learning to forgive: One of the most beautiful lines in the Bible is asking God to forgive us our sins, as we forgive those who sin against us. We can often hold grudges for years, holding on to them really tight, taking a sense of pride like they are scars from wars we have fought. We need to forgive to heal ourselves. And no matter how deep or incurable our wounds feel, it is possible to forgive, both ourselves and others.
   

5. Using your mat: Yoga asanas are a great and accessible way to open the heart as they help in releasing blocked emotions. Asanas like Dhanurasana (Bow pose), Ustrasana (Camel pose), Bhujangasana (Cobra pose), Matsyasana (Fish pose), Salabhasana (Locust pose) are excellent for exposing our hearts and becoming open and vulnerable for healing to follow.
   

6. Wishing the best: We want good things to come to us, to happen to us. Even small disappointments can fill us with anxiety, anger, sadness, jealousy. We also wish for the well-being of those in our circle - our families, friends, loved ones. A beautiful way to open our hearts is to slowly expand that circle. We can begin by including those that come to our minds, and gradually but consciously expanding more and more, till the time we can even wish well for those we find difficult to love.

As to why we should, nobody can answer that better than Murakami. “What happens when people open their hearts?""They get better.”

#Love #lovingkindness